There are times, during my parenting life, when I honestly have felt ripped the heck off. Like even though I remember times, multiple times even, when people told me, better yet warned me, that parenting is “hard”, I feel like those exhortations didnt exactly, or even come close to, explaining what I, as a parent, would be experiencing.
Let’s talk tantrum /emotional outburst department.
I feel like a better description might be, that parenting will sometimes feel like trying to hug, hmmm let’s say maybe a …….tornado. Or trying to talk a tornado out of being a tornado. Yes, that’s a way better picture of parenting tantrums. Hugging a tornado, or talking to a tornado makes no sense at all. Much like parenting a tantrum throwing, biligerant, angry, little mini me, with a temporarily broken moral compass.
Parenting tip #432: Dont hug or talk to tornadoes. Just Hide.
Similar to a tornado, you can mostly tell when the atmosphere around here, is capable of producing emotional hemorrhages. Although now that I think about it, warning sirens in my home might be a great touch, in efforts to prepare myself and others for what’s coming. Blasting, very tall, very loud and outer space-ish looking, warning sirens. Perfect.
Anyway, also like a tornado, once you see it…..you need to take cover. Get the dog, get some snacks, grab your other children….and hide. Hide and dont come out until you are sure its passed. If you here it upstairs, stay put. If you here it in the back yard, dont come out.
Once you hear silence for at least 5 minutes, then be prepared to assign a first responder to assess the damage. Make sure you have shoes on, and walk slowly. You need to be careful because chances are high that remnants of the tornado may remain, in the path of the tornado, sleeping in a random room in a corner under debris or blankets, and you dont want to step on or wake them. Carefully clear the room of any disturbances and resume life as you know it until said remnants have been restored to their natural state.
Dont hug or talk to tornadoes.